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Friday, 20 June 2014

England v Uruguay - In tweets

I found the game, & ITV's coverage extremely boring last night, so here's the game.

 The game can be summed up by this.

 1st 5 minutes
England player (Sturridge?) fails to anticipate keepers error - No goal

 last 5 minutes
Suarez anticipates Gerrard's error - Goal
Pre-match sound bites

Monotone monologues
I'm sure we were going to be learning the National Anthem
 · 15h

Uruguay win the anthems & look up for it. We don't seem to have the script. It's only the national anthem.
I wasn't the only one
 Retweeted by Mike Whitehead
 · 15h
You look at Brazil and Chile blaring out there anthems. Then look at our lot mumbling their way through it

Out tackled, out passed, out harrassed
 · 15h

We're half a yard slower

Both sides more intent on a quick feel than concentrating on the game

 · 15h

Some serious groping going on in the box

It doesn't matter what the game is there's always an excuse. We can't shoot, pass or tackle but it's not that the players are just crap.
 · 15h

Why can't the commentator just say that was crap? There's always a little rider, it sat up, bobbled, got under his feet, came rather awkward


Our superstars taking it easy, one decent pass from Gerrard

 · 15h

Rooney & Gerrard not in this yet

Unable to string a series of passes together.
After all the hoo ha about Rooney playing out of position the expert Hoodle comes up with a classic. 
 · 14h

Note to England You're in white It's a clue That's who you pass to Now Rooney 's too central


Another couple of excuses, Rooney was unlucky with the free kick that went high and wide. That's not bad luck. He got under the header at the back post. That's either bad technique or the cross wasn't good enough.

 · 14h

Hoddle, shut up, he missed the target........twice, that's not unlucky

This sums up the England supporters and press. They just can't see that the team is rubbish.
Supporter on BBC breakfast summed it up, he was expecting an easy win. Why, they are ranked higher than us.

 Retweeted by Mike Whitehead
 · 14h

Gerrard lost the ball, Johnson failed to close down Cavani, Jageilka lost Suarez. But one man will be blamed.

 Retweeted by Mike Whitehead
 · 14h

appear to be playing with the same urgency that we mumbled the National Anthem. Perhaps they might practice that too in the future.

England still struggling to raise their game
 · 14h

Come on, at least go out in a blaze of glory, not a whimper

Troubled twice at the near post from a corner, we never learn
 · 14h

Embarrassing at corners



 Retweeted by Mike Whitehead
 · 14h

Looking at England's performance so far like.. 
Embedded image permalink
Our passing ability continues to fail
 · 14h

We lose possession, Uruguay score. Uruguay lose possession we make 1 pass & lose it

Rooney with a chance in front of goal, I forget what the excuse was, but the commentator gave one.
 · 14h

24 feet to aim at & it's straight at the keeper

Finally realise why it's all going pear shaped. Mr Motivator in a coma.
 · 14h

Sussed it Gerard's teamtalk sent them all to sleep

Just to sum up the season for me.
 · 14h

Can it get any worse? Moyes Utd 7th Rooney playing like Shrek at the World Cup Suarez scores Woe is me :-(

England's back 4 looking at each other like..

Embedded image permalink



The answer to all England's problems doesn't last the game, what next?
 · 14h

There goes our match winner

Gerrard hacks down a Uruguayan player

 · 14h

Gerrard's first useful contribution?


Waiting for Wayne Rooney to score a World Cup goal.






Just as I was about to quote a few phrases from the sketch, the unthinkable happens.
Rooney scores.

 · 14h

This is the footballing equivalent of Python's parrot sketch Until halfway through that text


Mr. Invisible gets substituted, it's possible he contributed less than Gerrard

 · 14h



Lambert for Henderson ? Was he playing?


Suarez scores again

 · 14h

Uruguay ranked 7th Italy ranked 9th England ranked 10th What did you expect?

Looks like the realisation about Gerrard is being to set in
 Retweeted by Mike Whitehead
 · 14h

Fucked Liverpool's title challenge. Fucked England's World Cup campaign. Why always you Steve?


 Retweeted by Mike Whitehead
 · 14h
"
I suppose we have to be grateful Suarez wasn't full fit." - Adrian Chiles SACK HIM NOW ITV!!!

This has been used before, but it was apt.
Steven Gerrard's heat map.




Post match interview with Phil Jagielka
 · 14h

Jagielka, what game do you think you were playing in

and a few post match quotes

 Retweeted by Mike Whitehead
 · 14h

Uninspiring manager uninspiring captain , the only world class thing about England are the fans who blindly follow this shit the world over

 Retweeted by Mike Whitehead
 · 9h
“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.”

 Retweeted by Mike Whitehead
 · 5h
it's not Suarez who has put in this position. It's inability to defend or score. They only have themselves to blame



Jon & I in line for a call up to ITV

  1.  24h
    Just parking this for later on. a December 2013 prediction:
    Expand
  2.  23h
    Looks like someone agreed with you. I predict 2-1
    Expand
  3.  14h
    can we go work for ?
    Expand
  4.  13h
    Yep I think we're qualified now.. :-)
     Hide conversation
    10:00 PM - 19 Jun 2014 · Details











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