Football

Spent Saturday travelling down the M1 to my sisters in St. Albans. Had a great day as usual, anything that entertains the kids scores points, but had to suffer the whining football managers on the way back. Yes, I could have turned them off, but it became hilarious as the referees were blamed for everything under the sun.

Dalglish claimed Liverpool should have had a penalty every time that they touched the ball, yet somehow failed to spot the fact that Liverpool should have conceded a penatly towards the end. Was he as blind and as incompetant as the ref?

Why did Suarez earn a penalty? Maybe it's his reputation for diving, which has spread to Andy Carroll. Where was the critisism of his pampered team in failing to put the ball in the net?
Gerrard, vastly over-rated, blazed over with monotonous regularity, Carroll doesn't know where the goal is, and the miss by Kuyt was an absolute joke. But there's always an excuse.

The ref's don't deliberately cheat. Do the players?
The ref's don't deliberately hack players down.

The critisism of the ref is merely to whitewash over the teams inadequacies.



A few Andy Carroll's courtesy of the Everton Forum, and no, I'm a fan of neither team

The FA have brought in a new ruling. Anyone found passing to Andy Carroll will automatically receive a yellow card for time wasting.

Liverpool have offered to sell Andy Carroll back to Newcastle Utd for free. Newcastle have reported Liverpool for threatening behaviour.

Andy Carroll walks into a bar and orders a pint. "Thats £35 million pounds please" says the barman. "You've got to be joking?" says Carroll. "Funny thats what i said when i saw you're transfer fee" says the barman.

Andy Carroll has revealed the t-shirt he has been wearing since he last scored, ready for when he scores his next goal. It says 'Save The Chilean Miners!"

Subway have announced they no longer plan to name a sandwich after Andy Carroll due to cost issues. It would just be an expensive sub.

There was a knock on my door this evening. When i answered there was a bunch of fat kopites singing 'He'll shoot, he'll score, he'll break your missus jaw.....'     Bloody Carroll singers.

Andy Carroll and Steven Gerrard are excited about pairing up to form a strong attacking partnership.........They will be a real handful for any team of bouncers in Liverpool's nightclubs.

Andy Carroll has turned down being the new face of L'oreal hair products as everyone burst into fits of laughter everytime he uttered the words "Because Im Worth It!"

Andy Carroll-The biggest waste of money since fat birds with nice haircuts.

And some from the Liverpool forum, a year ago

Andy doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

Andy has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.

Andy killed the dead sea.

If you spell ‘Andy Carroll’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Andy Carroll?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Andy Carroll can play the violin with a piano

Andy Carroll once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!

Micheal Jordan to Andy: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?
Andy: Rascal; how do you think the earth spins!?


When Andy Carroll logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message!

Andy once killed 20 men just by saying "BANG"

Andy knows Victoria’s secret.

Andy can divide by zero.

Andy Carroll has counted to infinity, twice.

When Andy gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

When Andy Carroll is asked to kill some one he doesn’t know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.

Andy does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.

 Wonder if their opinion has changed yet?

and a few more for good measure

# Why does Stewart Downing have 0 assists? 'Coz he only passes to Andy Carroll

# Aston villa rejected liverpool's (25million + Andy Carroll) bid for darren bent saying that they

want only 25 million

# Kenny : " Andy Carrol is our wonder Boy . Everytime he plays I wonder why I signed him

# Liverpool Youngster Raheem Sterling Gets Two Women Pregnant In Two Weeks .-

He should be a first team starter. It is clear to me that he scores more than Andy Carroll

#  "I am shocked and disappointed."
The Liverpool captain responds to news that Andy Carroll will not be sold in January

#  I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.

"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."

"Fine," I said, "I want to die when Andy Carroll scores a hatrick ."

"You crafty Human!" said the fairy.